mean stories written with someone (in this case, the Klocek, your task is to guess which parts I wrote.)
Sitting on the bus "to fuck" I heard before me przytwierające the sphincter, which issued a short beep:
- Pryt!
looked up from "Between us - Emokami" Kadlubek Vincent and looked at the source of the sound and smell. I saw the back of a female head. The girl had red hair with one strand black ran down her neck. Nothing more I could see was is one of those modern buses with high backs. The old lady sitting next to me and also took the opportunity dropped a little gas, but lacked the grace he exhibited czerwonowłosej tops.
- Lady ... - Wymsknęło me. Soon, however, repented, and hid his head in a book. Better not to start with the lords. But I could not keep one thought: "why aristocrat travels on the bus?" I checked the jacket pocket, to feel calm cold metal. Austrian semi-automatic weapons production - AU09. Prototype, but I could not complain - range, power and accuracy were good, minimum recoil and magazine dwudziestonabojowy allow for longer service life.
broke my reverie with flasks hidden in the thigh vibrate the phone. I pulled it out and saw the "overseer" in the display, picked up.
- Where are you Omega? - Male, calm voice with a hint of decadence.
- On the way, ten minutes - material response, which is used for non-members gave more than words alone.
- waiting - thrown by the leader briefly brought me back on track - the next mission of the resistance.
- Pryyyt! Prut! - Said the stranger sitting in front of me with a beautiful back of the head. As if God himself came to earth to give me the key, the answer that I want already had a good third year. The answer to the question: "What am I doing this?" What will change my victim? "
- Mexican food? - I asked timidly czerwonowłosego angel. But when she turned her pretty face, there was nobody behind her. In a split second I managed to squeeze into the luggage compartment. Surprised chick turned back against itself, so that this time had a facial expression, as if she of the theater after a good horror movie.
"I'll do I get on a mission, I can not now attract attention!" - I thought, pulling from his pocket flash grenade. At a time when his grandmother began to argue about the vacancy than out of the blue everyone on the bus they were blinded by white light. Before the vehicle collided with a ride across the street tirem, I managed to knock out the glass head of this muthafuckin 'old lady sitting next to me before, and jump out onto the sidewalk.
When I raised my head, I noticed a kid standing in front of me with a cell in his hand. Before he could squeeze out the number to the police, he broke the fucking seamens' residencies ME45 single shot from my "nines."
- What time is it? - I asked the cool voice of starting poke a finger in your ear.
second story (beginning):
- Squid leaves me with doopy! Faquardo! - Shouted obsmarowana brocade, wearing a red plastic old lady with pheasant on her head. The woman was in a desperate situation. With her brown anus protrudes from the squid face of Mr. Kaczynski's (the one with the mole). Suddenly he fell from the sky box cheese and onion sticks.
- TRANSFORMATION!! 1 - cried cardboard sticks, zabłyskał very much and turned into a handsome Blondas with blue tendrils.
- Faquardo Oh! - The old man piped up, disintegrating.
- Do not worry, my rodzynku - whispered her navel Faquardo and stroked her breasts - Until we die, our love will not let you zbonitować!
- Faquardo Oh, you know what the word! - She screamed and threw herself on his neck, and triangular tears rolled on her nipples. Then said the speaker (narrator?):
- The next episode, "Shades of Love: Barry decides to have surgery to reduce penis does not know is that Faquardo is pregnant with Mr. Zbigniew from the grocery store, while Pokemon Ash ...
But now I do not care. I sat in tears in my chair and nails experienced the fate of the squid.
- That ... is a terrible ... I need to cut! - I whispered, and threw a brick in the TV to turn it off. When the intestines are no longer flashing and the TV to smoke, I got up and pulled out a razor blade from the drawer marked "WEDNESDAY: * xD. My name is Luigi, get to know my sick world.
Przystawiłem silvery edge to oblivion left hand, but ... yes! I put down the razor blade and reached for the "Anatomy." I opened the chapter "core", I reached for a razor blade i. .. "Drrry. Fucking bell. I got up and walked to the entrance.
- cannot fuck carrying here! - I said, culturally, opening the door. Behind them stood a guy in a trench coat and replied:
- Eggs sell. Then he revealed
skirts revealing jacket ... so ... eggs. Yelling "Spartaaa!" I dug him down the stairs of a stairwell of the block. I went back to its "raison d'etre" is to be grabbed a razor blade, to show the world your pain. I put my silver blade into oblivion, as I had hoped, lived i. .. "Drryń. Fucking phone! I was so scared that I pull up a razor and cut the up. Spurted blood, which zatamowałem bandage. At that time the phone is wydzwonił and fell silent.
- Fucking the world - I said, beating his head against the wall. After a while I added - even the cut can not be.
I went to the bathroom, put on my emotional makeup and went to the door, grabbing the way for his mhroczny, emo jacket. I went ahead, in this dark and wicked world of destruction. Defiled by governments, politicians, murderers, thieves, and Greenpeace. They were all bad and nasty. None of them did not understand me. This all went for anyone: in the park, the shop on the street.
went to the only person who almost understood my pain. I rang the door, and after a while she opened.
- Shiemash - różowowłosa said the woman in pink clothes.
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